The Essential Role of Self-Care for Parents: Nurturing Your Mind, Body & Spirit.
Oct 23
5 min read
0
0
Parenting is a deeply rewarding journey—but it also brings ongoing demands. Whether you’re caring for a baby, toddler, school-age child or teenager, your role covers emotional support, practical logistics, teaching, safeguarding and so much more. Amid all this focus on your children, it’s easy to let your own well-being slip. This blog explores why self-care matters for parents, how it supports your mind, body and spirit, the research behind it, and practical ideas you can adopt.
1. Why self-care is crucial for parents
When you’re parenting, you often operate under pressure: balancing routines, school, activities, work, family relationships, and your child’s needs (which may sometimes be intense). Studies show that when parents neglect their own well-being, both parent and child outcomes can suffer.
For example:
Research found that in caregivers of children attending outpatient psychiatry, higher parental distress was strongly associated with less self-care. MDPI
A study in Australia found that parents who practiced self-care tended to feel more competent, had better physical health, and were less likely to experience psychological distress. Parenting Research Centre
The organisation Anna Freud Centre states that many parents forget to look after themselves, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed; making time for yourself allows you to “enjoy the good moments in life more and find strength during difficult times.” Anna Freud
In short: self-care isn’t selfish—it enables you to be the parent you want to be over the long term. You’re more present, patient, emotionally available and resilient when you look after yourself.
2. The three domains of self-care for parents
Let’s break self-care into mind, body, and spirit, and see how each applies in the context of parenting.
Mind (Mental & Emotional Health)
Parenting brings emotional complexity: joy, pride, worry, frustration, guilt, fatigue. Your mental health influences not only your well-being but also your child’s experience.
Key research:
In the maternal context, higher depressive symptoms were linked to increased “self-focus” (using more “I” in narratives) and lower caregiver warmth in interactions with infants. PubMed
A study found that for parents of children in psychiatric care, low self-care was a strong predictor of parental distress (even more than child symptom severity in some analysis). MDPI
What self-care looks like for the mind:
Carving out time for reflection: journaling, talking with a trusted friend or professional about how you’re doing.
Practising mindfulness, deep-breathing or short meditations (even 5 minutes helps).
Setting realistic expectations of yourself—parenting isn’t perfect.
Connecting with other parents: sharing experiences reduces isolation, normalises struggle.
Monitoring your own emotional signs: persistent irritability, depleted patience, mood changes may signal you need a reset.
Body (Physical Health & Well-being)
Your physical health underpins your ability to parent effectively: stamina, energy, resilience to stress.
Relevant research:
The “Self-Care for Parents” article from St. Luke’s Penn Foundation reminds us that neglecting self-care shows up as physical, emotional or relational symptoms. pennfoundation.org
The UNICEF “Self-care for parents” guidance notes that meeting your own physical and mental needs benefits your children too. UNICEF
Body-focused self-care practices:
Prioritise sleep: aim for consistent bedtime/wake time where possible.
Balanced eating: fuel yourself rather than rely on fast or erratic meals.
Regular movement: walks with the child, short workouts, stretching—make it realistic.
Breaks: even 10 minutes off-screen or away from the child’s demands can reset your body.
Medical check-ups: keep on top of your own health (don’t assume your focus must only be on the child).
Ask for help when you’re physically worn—lift/shift tasks, childcare relief.
Spirit (Meaning, Connection & Renewal)
“Spirit” means your connection to yourself beyond being a parent: your sense of purpose, joy, identity, relationships, renewal.
Why this matters in parenting:
When you lose sight of your own interests and identity, you risk burnout or resentment.
Children benefit from parents who model balanced lives: they see self-care isn’t optional.
Feeling spiritually aligned (whatever that means for you: faith, nature, creativity, community) helps sustain you.
Spirit-focused self-care ideas:
Schedule something just for you: a hobby, reading, a nature walk, creative time.
Maintain connection with spouse/partner/friends outside the parent role.
Reflect on your parenting journey: what you value, what you hope for your child and yourself.
Let your child see you taking care of yourself—age-appropriate “me time” sets healthy modelling.
Celebrate small moments: maybe it’s laughter, a milestone, a peaceful bed-time routine—notice it, appreciate it.
3. Research evidence: Self-care benefits for parents and children
Here are some of the key findings supporting self-care in parenting:
The Australia-based research brief showed that “parents who practise self-care tend to feel skilled and confident as parents… and are more satisfied with their physical health and less likely to experience psychological distress.” Parenting Research Centre
The UNICEF guidance emphasises that when parents meet their own needs, that benefits the children too. UNICEF
The study on parental resilience during COVID-19 found that resilience improved parent mental health and thereby quality of the parent-child relationship. PubMed
The Anna Freud Centre guidance states that factoring in regular time for yourself can help you “enjoy the good moments in life more and find strength during difficult times.” Anna Freud
In short: better-cared-for parents lead to better parent-child dynamics, less stress, more presence and overall healthier family life.
4. Practical Self-Care Plan for Parents
Here’s a simple practical plan you can customise to your situation (however young or old your children).
Step 1: Take stock
How often do you wake up feeling rested?
How many minutes (or hours) per day/week do you spend just on yourself?
What do you enjoy (alone or with minimal interruption)?
What’s one thing you’d change in your mental, physical, spiritual self-care?
Step 2: Set small, achievable goals
Choose one goal in each domain for the coming week:
Mind: e.g., “I will spend 5 minutes after putting the children to bed writing down one thing I’m grateful for and one thing I found hard today.”
Body: e.g., “I will go for a 10-minute walk at lunchtime three times this week.”
Spirit: e.g., “I will schedule a 30-minute block this weekend to do something I enjoy (reading, hobby, café) while someone watches the kids.”
Step 3: Embed routines & anchors
Use naturally recurring times (morning coffee, nap time, once kids are in bed) as cues for self-care.
Carve out a “mini-ritual” for yourself: e.g., a calming tea, closing your eyes for 2 minutes, writing.
Use reminders: set your phone, put a note on your heart chart, ask your partner to help.
Accept that some days you’ll not hit everything—and that’s okay. Progress over perfection.
Step 4: Seek support, delegate, ask for help
Share how you feel with your partner/family—let them know you need a break.
Use peer support: other parents, online groups, local parent networks.
Look into respite options if you’re stretched (even a short regular break helps).
If you feel persistently overwhelmed, consider professional help (counselling, parenting support).
Remember: asking for help is not a failure of parenting—it’s strength in maintaining it.
Step 5: Monitor & adjust
After a month, review: What self-care actions worked? What didn’t? Why?
Adjust your goals: maybe you need more time, maybe smaller time.
Celebrate wins: even if you simply managed to say “no” to something to preserve your space—acknowledge it.
Recognise that self-care will evolve as your children grow and your responsibilities shift.
As a parent, you have one of the greatest jobs in the world—but you’re also human. You have limits. Self-care isn’t optional “luxury”; it’s a foundation for maintaining your energy, emotional well-being, physical health, and the quality of your relationship with your children. When you care for yourself, you give your children a strong, present, calm, resilient version of you—and you model something invaluable: that their own well-being matters too. If you take away one thing: treat self-care not as a guilty treat but as a parenting essential.
