I remember having my first baby. She was bright, funny, tactile, and already showed signs of a strong will. Friends and family would say, “Just wait until she’s a toddler!” At that point, the idea of my baby becoming a toddler seemed like a million miles away. Yet, in the blink of an eye, I was introduced to the wonderful—and somewhat challenging—world of toddlers!
We had just welcomed our beautiful baby boy into the family and felt incredibly excited to introduce him to his big sister. Unfortunately, our daughter was not so pleased about the new arrival and, at just 18 months old, struggled to comprehend this little invader in her nest!
As a mother, I remember feeling shocked by her sudden change in behaviour. I had no way to control or predict the outbursts and felt ill-equipped to deal with the situation. This, coupled with a new penchant for nightmares, teething, the dreaded concept of sharing, and a new “big bed,” meant that both my toddler and I were at the end of our tethers. I found myself frowning a lot, calling for time-outs, decamping to the grandparents for some light relief, and crying down the phone to my close friends.
Of course, all of this is normal, and these changes in behaviour can be linked to the different developmental stages our children go through. This stage is what psychologists call emotional regulation. Meltdowns are common during this period, and it’s down to parents to support, guide, and use the bond they share to help their child learn to modulate emotional expression and begin to grasp the difficult concept of not always getting what they want.
The reasons for these meltdowns are many and varied. For example:
Tiredness and fatigue play a major role in how your child behaves and copes with situations they may find challenging.
Overstimulation can also increase the likelihood of an uncontrollable meltdown. Reducing screen time—especially before bed—can help calm your child’s nervous system.
Frustration at not being able to do something or struggling to communicate their needs are also key factors that influence your toddler’s temperament.
Hunger is another trigger. We all know how being hungry—or “hangry,” as it’s known in our household—can affect our mood and ability to concentrate. Toddlers have small tummies and high metabolisms, which means they get hungry much faster than adults. Keeping a few emergency snacks in your bag is always useful!
Potty training can be stressful for both you and your toddler. My advice is not to rush it—make sure your little one is ready. Otherwise, it can become a long and drawn-out process.
As a mother, it’s helpful to have a few techniques in your toolkit to deal with these outbursts. One wonderful way to reconnect with your toddler is through reflexology. While reflexology is well-known for its benefits in adults, little has been written about the wonderful effect it can have on toddlers. Toddler Reflexology is usually performed on the hands and can be combined with their favourite nursery rhymes (though it can also be carried out on the feet). It’s a great way for both of you to reconnect, bond, and calm down together—especially after a stressful day.
Reflexology can also help promote better sleep. If your little one is feeling fretful at night, struggling to drift off, or waking from nightmares, reflexology can be a soothing way to relax and encourage a peaceful night’s rest.
My youngest son always seems to be overstimulated at bedtime, thanks to his older siblings, who love getting him excited! While it’s lovely to watch, it makes bedtime a challenge. My saviour is Toddler Reflexology. He absolutely loves it, and all I need to say is, “Joshie, shall Mummy do your hands?” He runs straight to bed and eagerly presents me with his hands—followed by his feet!
Learning this skill and having it in my parenting toolkit gives me added confidence. It helps me support my toddler in managing his emotions, encourages restful sleep, and, most importantly, provides a special opportunity to reconnect with him after a tough day.
